And a couple that he did, that I didn’t pay attention to at the time.

In the vein of ‘1001 rules for my unborn son‘, I want to lay down some things for Logan. Some will be taken almost directly, some will come from me, and some will come from things my Dad passed to me. Some I don’t practice what I preach; I know I should though.

This will always be a work in progress.

1. Learn to throw a football/baseball/frisbee. You don’t have to be great at it, just get the basics.
2. If someone is required to carry a firearm professionally, they deserve your respect. They’ve sacrificed more for you than you want to know.
3. Nobody likes a know-it-all.
4. Sometimes, what someone doesn’t say is more important than what they are saying.
5. If you’re afraid to try something, force yourself to do it as soon as you can; reality is never as hard, or scary, as you’ve built it up in your head.
6. Over tip breakfast waitresses.
7. Always smile at a pretty girl. You never know.
8. Never side against your sister in a fight.
9. Nobody ever wished on their death bed that they’d spent more time at work.
10. College is a controlled environment where you learn to be an adult. Mistakes are tolerated there, make the most of it.
11. If I ever act like something else is more important to me than you, you have my permission to set me straight without repercussions.
12. Some people love to tell you that there is never a reason for fighting (especially school faculty). This isn’t true; if it was there wouldn’t be any war. Just make sure you’re prepared to own up the consequences.
13. Admit when you’re wrong; it’s not a sign of weakness.
14. As you get older, time goes by faster. Ironically, your brain will have a hard time perceiving itself as any older than 10-15yrs younger than you really are. Point is, don’t be in such a rush to grow up.
15. Always try to see things from someone else’s point of view. People aren’t complicated, you just have to figure out their motivation.
16. Stand up to the bully. No matter how bad you get beat, you’ll only have to do it once.
17. Learn to tie a couple of good knots.
18. Learn to drive a manual transmission
19. Wear sunscreen.
20. Remind me to teach you how to tie a double windsor. Ties probably won’t be fashionable anymore when you’re old enough to wear one, but it won’t hurt to know how.
21. Don’t go looking for a fight, but if there’s absolutely no avoiding it, instead of being afraid hit first and hit hard. Aim for the nose. And even if you get your ass kicked, make sure they never want to try picking another fight with you.
22. (This one is going to sound counter-intuitive coming from me) Don’t have a girlfriend in college. Ask me why when you get older.
23. Never talk during a movie in a movie theater; nobody paid to hear your crap.
24. Women find confidence sexy; some women mistake not caring for confidence.
25. Mark Twain: Courage isn’t the lack of fear; it’s acting in spite of it.
26. Learn to pace yourself when you drink.
27. Travel. You’ll discover the world is much more beautiful place than they show on television. Always keep that in mind when you watch the news.
28. Avoid gossip at all costs. Even a friendship.
29. Know how to change a tire and the oil; understand how all the systems of a car works so that when you take it to the shop you can be explicit in describing what’s not working. It’s rare to find a ‘mechanic’, they’re all ‘technicians’ now. The difference is one, fixes things, the other replaces things. I’m sure it’ll be even more so when you get older.
30. Never be afraid to ask a girl out, no matter how much better looking than you she might be. Worst she can say is no.
31. Never lead a girl on; things will end badly. For you.
32. Just raise your glass, no need to clink.
33. When you marry a girl, you marry her whole family. If you don’t like them while you’re dating you’ll like them half as much once you’re married and half as much again when you have kids. The inverse is also true.
34. Never, ever, under any circumstances, even if it’s completely obvious, assume a woman is pregnant. Never ask when she’s due. If she’s pregnant and it comes up, she’ll probably volunteer that info.
35. Always pay for everything on a first date. If the girl protests, and wants to pay for something, say that you asked her out so you’re paying. If she asked you out, tell her she asked you out so it’s your turn. If you don’t have much money, it’s up to you to come up with something inventive to do that you can afford. Good luck. I got lucky on that one.
36. Exception to above: if you don’t care about the girl much, then getting drunk on cheap booze, hanging out and seeing what happens is perfectly acceptable. (Make sure to reference ‘never lead a girl on’ rule for how well that’s going to work out for you though.)
37. Unless you’re 100% certain she’s a world champion boozer, never give a girl more than two mixed drinks. Holding hair at the end of evening isn’t what you had in mind.
38. Learn to put everything in perspective. Worrying about something never changed anything.
39. Sometimes sweating the details can make all the difference between mediocre and spectacular.
40. If you catch yourself whining; suck it up.
41. Learn how to make fire without matches.
42. As cheesy as it sounds, you’ll never really know what love is until you have your first child. (Yeah, that’s you, home slice.)
43. Give credit when it’s due; take the blame when it’s yours. You’ll get more respect by owning up to it than you will if you try to pass it off.
44. Never underestimate your fertility. Treat it like an infectious disease.
45. Don’t try to avoid the bully by befriending him; you’ll end up doing what he does.
46. Take pictures at family events; but don’t let the pictures become the event.
47. Your birthday is a big event for your Mom and Dad too.
48. Better to be quiet and let everyone assume you’re smart instead of opening your mouth and proving that you’re not.
49. If the teacher forgets to assign homework, keep quiet.
50. Don’t ask somebody to do something you’re not willing to do yourself.
51. Identify your most commonly used word or phrase, and work at eliminating it.
52. Don’t bite your fingernails.
53. If you can’t think of anything to give a woman, flowers will do. But go to a florist and give some thought to what you send. Women know when you’ve phoned it in.
54. Get to know as many people as you can professionally. Half of your success will come from who you know.
55. Nothing brings people together like adversity; think about joining a fraternity in college.
56. Always be discreet about your love life.
57. Paul Newman: if you look around the poker table and you can’t tell who the sucker is, it’s you.
58. Have a passport and keep it current.
59. When listening to other’s stories, resist the urge to answer with one of your own.